2 days left till operation!


Woah. To encapsulate my feelings in a word, it would be minimal-fear (does that even exist) I’m feeling less anxious than most days though, maybe because it’s sinking in that I am going to have the operation. Anxiety is still there, I guess it’s partly being afraid of the operation and partly bewildered by it being just two days ago. I remember my journey of scoliosis began 3 years ago when it was at 35 degrees, and now is at 50. It feels good in a way to finally get to close this chapter of my life although I won’t stop raising awareness for the condition and helping other people who have to go through it.

My last week at school before the operation was exhausting, maybe it was because of the numerous books I was given for revision! But it was also sad saying bye to the people who I see 5 days a week, excluding holidays, my friends. Friday was my last day and I was thrown an amazing surprise party by my friends to say goodbye and good luck, which literally made everything much more positive! The cake, which included all my favorite chocolates, was made by the amazing Haseena. The support really helped in feeling more better about everything.

School wise, I’m just going to have to work on getting better, then I will start thinking about workload and revision, but overall I’m feeling good. Today is my last day at home before I go for admissions tomorrow. If you’re reading this and you have Scoliosis, I know how hard it is to have to go through something like this, so if anyone has any questions, feel free to leave me a comment on here.

Exam Stress tips

Soo, I’ve not been posting a lot lately, due to the fact that my brain is overflowing with revision, and exam apprehension!!! I’ve put a few tips together, for how to control and deal with your exam stress and focus on the positive side… enjoy!

1) Never say can’t! You CAN! 😀

2) Clear your mind- Stress is an instinctive response to fear. Learn to deal with it instead of fight it.:D

3) Listen to classical music when studying- piano based music calms me down and prepares me for the revision. 😀

4) Try not to worry to much- yes you may want to succeed in your exams and not fail, but remember that it’s not the end of the world, and you shouldn’t spend all your time focusing on the exams. Go out! Have some fun. 😀

5) Get motivated- personally, I am so lazy to study, the only reason I do is because I’ve got a A3 sized note stuck on my wall, saying “Think of the day you open your results” this automatically motivates me to do my work, as I want to be crying happy tears on the day of my results, and I am sure you would want to aswell 😀

6) Take breaks regularly- after about 1 hour of revision, take a 10 minute break and just do something which doesn’t involve thinking a lot, to try and get your brain to calm down. 😀

7) If anxiety attacks you in the exam and you can’t fight it off easily, practice the following in advance 😀

and use it in the exam: 😀
1. Stop.
2. Feel both feet firmly on the ground.
3. Close your eyes if you like.
4. Relax shoulders and arms, jaw and cheeks.
5. Count a few deep breaths out.
6. Calm for one minute.
7. Think of your name, write it down and then slowly return to the task.

And finally, relax,sleep well and GOOD LUCK! To everyone doing their exams out there, we can all do it, if we believe, we can achieve baby 😀 Stay happy and remember if you want to achieve it, revise hahaha 😀 😀

Living With Scoliosis

About four months ago, I was diagnosed with this “thing” called Scoliosis….to be honest I had no idea what it was, but all I could think about was “ahhh am I going to die” “why is this happening to me” I never actually heard of it until I was diagnosed. The story started like this….

When I was about 13 I realized that I was having terrible back pain in the right side of my back, I would complain every time, so my mum took me to the G.P, who said all it was, was growing pain and that it’ll go away in about 6 months. So I forgot about the pain, not realizing I had Scoliosis. In June 2011, I was tying my laces getting ready to go out with my mum when I realized a lump on the right side of my  back…so I called my mum and started freaking out!

My mum immediately took me to the hospital and told them what the problem was. I had an x-ray and after the x-ray was done, the doctor turned to me and said “What do you think it is” and I said “Well according to Google, it’s called Scoliosis, and it’s a curvature of the spine” The doctor looked at me and said “Well done, you’re Google diagnosis was right”

Moving on, I was becoming conscious of my back and thought it made me look weird and not right. So I began having these negative thoughts, feeling low and just hated this thing called “Scoliosis”

One day after coming home from school, my back was completely aching, the pain was excruciating and I just couldn’t take it. My mum was doing a great job in being there for me and always telling me that everything was going to be okay, but I just hated the fact that my back stuck out, and my spine wasn’t straight.

Then one day I woke up, and thought to myself “Are you serious, is this seriously going to stop you from living life and being a happy person” then on I realized, what the hell?, who cares if my spine was slightly curved, and I didn’t have the most straightest back, so what if my spine isn’t straight?????

I realized, so many people out there, have far more worse cases of scoliosis, and some people have much worse things in their life, however are still remaining calm….there are people out there who have had their life so hard but are maintaining strong and happy….so I decided, to stop the self consciousness, and stop the obsessing over my back and start living, because at the end of the day, you only live once, and I can’t let something so small and silly like Scoliosis, stop me from doing what I love,

I finally believe, that this world has amazing things waiting for me, and wonderful opportunities that are waiting for me. I’m only 15 and inchallah with the power of God, have an amazing life waiting there for me, and so do all of you…. I guess my message really is to stop letting little things get in your life and just live, at the end of the day, life is too short to worry about every little thing.
To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.

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January 2020
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