Scoliosis Update….

So, I haven’t written for about a week now, and it’s because I’ve been super busy with exam preparation and my back problems. On the 22nd of march, I went with my mum to see the consultant for my scoliosis problem, and he said my curve has increased, from being 35 degrees to 52 degrees. Sooooooo… the way to correct this would be surgery, and by having this surgery, my spine would be much better (hopefully) but the problem is… j’ai peur!!!! I’m actually dreading it, but I’ve had so much support, from family and friends and joined many scoliosis groups on Facebook, which gave me extra support and reassurance.

My day on the 22nd of march, started off like any ordinary Thursday, only that day, I had no school, because of the appointment:D So I got up at about 8:00 in the morning, and had to get dressed for 8:30 which was the time, the cab was picking us up, to take us to the hospital. To be honest, I wasn’t that scared, I was slightly nervous, but having my mum by my side, made things better. So we got to the hospital, and it was 9:00, we were 15 minutes earlier for the appointment, so we went to Costa and had coffee (well I had orange juice). So after about 10 minutes, I was told that I needed an x-ray. So a nurse escorted me and my mum to the x-ray screening place, and the nurse, kindly told me to remove my top, and get dressed into the gown. I did this and gave my mum my top. After about 2 minutes, a nurse kindly took me to the X-ray screening room, and told me to step on this weird step thingy, that I can’t describe haha, but I was facing a glass wall. I was told that, they were going to give me a X-ray, from the front of my back, and from the side. The X-ray took about 20 minutes, and I remember the step thingy, being cold against my skin. So after the X-ray was done, the nurse, checked if they got the correct screening, and then escorted me back to the room, where I was told to put my top back on, and then after this went to meet my mum back in the hallway. My mum looked slightly worried, but the nurse reassured her that everything was okay.

We were then led up to the consultant’s room, and waited. This is where I started feeling quite nervous, and felt like I had knots in my stomach….When I was told I needed the operation, I felt so sorry for myself, and almost pitied it, as I read more about it, the thought of it affecting my life negatively, became a part of my everyday thinking, and was embedded in brain. It was a thought, that never left my memory, and to be honest, almost became a part of my everyday thinking, as it was becoming permanently imprinted in my mind, and no matter what I did to remove this thought, of the scoliosis getting worse, it came back…haunting me.

Now…after about 4 days, when I was told I needed the operation, things pretty much got back to normal. I remember I was on tumblr, when I discovered a blog called “Laughing at my nightmare” .Now this blog changed me from the inside and out, because it seriously made me realize that life is way too short to dwell on negativity. The blog was about a 19-year-old boy living with Muscular Dystophy. He said that he was eventually going to die from the condition, but he wouldn’t let it slow him down. His blog makes will make you laugh and cry, because you just realize, some people always will have worse conditions than you, but actually they are the ones that realize life is too short to worry about the negative aspects of life. Instead of worrying about why YOU’RE the one, going through this, you should calm down, relax and seriously thank God and be thankful that you are more healthy than sick. When you’re having a bad day, always remember, that somewhere out there in the world, someone is suffering 10 times worse conditions than you. Fill your heart with gratitude, and stop the negativity.

So finally, I just wanted to share with you, a bit about the day I went to see the consultant, but also share this amazing story of the boy who’s laughing at his nightmare.  Check his blog out, because it really makes me smile. Now, I’m not going to lie, I am still worried about the operation, but it’s soooo little compared to how it was before reassuring myself that it’s not that bad.

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January 2020
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